(The Legend of the Graceland Mafia)

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The sleepy Orange County town lay silent, as the sun settled into the Pacific Ocean with a quiet sizzle. As their silhouettes nestled clandestinely into the darkening scenery, two rather large men with nervous dispositions huddled together.  Hoarse whispers cut through the molasses night like stiletto fingernails through yielding flesh.

 

“We oughtta start a band.”

 

The rest, as they say, is history. Or will be someday. Or I’ll eat my hat.

 

 

 

 

 

MEL and JIMBO:

Born of a simple conspiracy between one Melvis (the King) Dupree, and his squat counterpart, Jimbo (Machinegun) Williams, the story of the Graceland Mafia soon spread far and wide throughout the nation’s dark underbelly. Erupting into a momentous blaze from an insignificant flame, the Legend of the Graceland Mafia continued to flourish.

Folks from all over reverently applauded Melvis Dupree, he of burly stature, humble mannerism, and golden voice.

Often, in the streets, you could hear whispered rumor of this town or that set ablaze by the fiery fingers of Machinegun Williams.

 

 

  JON:

After a series of unsuccessful auditions and ghastly mismatches, Jon (Handsome Jack) Healey was “made,” bringing with him an unrivaled musical talent, seemingly endless wit, and a sincere and level-headed approach, adding the touch of professionalism that iced the cake.

The frightening task of replacing the rhythm machine came next. What an ugly monster this undertaking proved to be! Drummer after drummer after drummer marched in, through, and finally out of the Graceland Mafia’s doors. If ever there was an era of fear in the annals of Family History, the search for the great thumper captures the honor. Too many to mention by name, one self-proclaimed percussionist after another weakened the resolve of the mighty Mafia, until at last it seemed the very fabric of the Family would rupture.

With time, patience, and hope hastily withering away, it seemed only a marvelous phenomenon could save our heroes.

 

 

  ZAMBO:

Alas, in stormed Dave "ZAMBO" Zambetti of Ghost Train fame. Armed only with two wooden sticks, an incessant enthusiasm, and a passion for the fine arts, Zambo added outbursts of fury to the equation, and fuel to an already blazing fire.

 

 

 

 

  JAY and BONES:

Credit is also due to two other major behind-the-scenes players in the organization: Jason “Guitar” Morrison and Skinny “Bones” Insignia. Guitar Morrison and Machinegun Williams are lifelong cohorts, and many of the stories told by the Graceland Mafia are the spawn of this friendship, and countless beer-drenched Oklahoma nights. As for "Skinny" Bones, well, who do you think carries the equipment, and breaks up the scuffles?

The story of the foursome has been retold to wide-eyed children everywhere for generations, and few doubt that it will ever wane. Many wonderful tales of valiant victory over their nemesis, Mr. Injustice, live on. Some say, if you close your eyes on a quiet night, and listen very carefully, you can hear the wind whispering, “I'll finally have nothing to fear...."